"I think Jake was breast fed until he was 5"

There's a lot going on in my life.
Exciting things. (work related).
Tough things (life related).
Funny things (the ordinary).
Ridiculous situations (the ordinary).

anyway, my catchy title to this overdue blog, which mama lisa would no doubt find distasteful, is an excerpt from realitysteve.com... a website i have been hooked on since getting hooked on the Bachelor. realitysteve is somehow so tapped into the how-can-these-not-be-choreographed-dynamics that take place on this season's show, featuring Jake the Pilot. the website is a bit of a spoiler, so i've learned to read it after i view the episodes, always back to back, via hulu on my macbook, in my bed with my contacts already out. it's amazing the little things we look forward to when the big things don't seem to be there. anyway, realitysteve.com is hysterical, it's honest, and if you don't mind a little offensive humor in his musings, i'd highly recommend it.

The Bachelor. so, like any man, Jake has a skill, and a fantastic one at that; as he is a fearless, talented pilot. Jake is ripped, baby-faced, and looks good in T's and jeans (my fav), but appears to be a dreaded simpleton. sorry, no offense, but he's simple. and maybe that's okay. maybe he needs a simple girl? the fact that vienna has made it this far is shocking, and i feel bad for the seemingly normal Ali, (who yes, i think i would be friends with), as it's making her visibly repulsed. but Ali, maybe he's not your guy.... do the contestants ever think like that? i mean just because you are one of the 25 chosen women, is he your person? i dunno, i just think its super hard to find it all there, and maybe i'm assuming, but for the most part this bachelor, or bachelorette in the other season, is considered by default "the one". whatever.  i suppose i should give huge kudos to ABC, as i'm one of the millions of viewers who has been successfully reeled in.

so this blog sort of sucks. the 'sort of' probably isn't necessary. i have been uber busy with work, very exciting work things that aren't directly related to my department but i was lucky enough to be a big part of, and am so pumped for how yet again, we've made a big statement to everyone to seriously make sure their rear view mirrors are positioned correctly. we're coming, and there's no doubt. (yes. i am competitive. its why i am here).

to end the blog with a typical claire story, while in NYC this weekend in my adorably little boutique hotel with neon green lighting adoring the doorways but a bathroom that a 6'3" dave wood would NEVER fit into.... i had a funny little elevator sitch. first of all, en route to the elevator as i was squeezing in a quick run before another big dinner, there is a woman in the hallway standing outside of her door post a gigantic fight in which the cops were called, (true story). she looks at me and says, "heeeeey honey, dontchajustwishyaweresingle?" and i meekishly (which is not a word but you catch my drift and i NEVER am, meek that is), shyly smiled and said, "yeah, i guess". then, as if someone above is SCRIPTING this, i re-enter said hotel post-lovely-central-park run to encounter two deliciously in love (or lust) Euros making out in the elevator. problem is, there were only one set of buttons, and the Euros were seriously leaning up against them whilst playing a game of tonsil hockey as if Bobby Orr was one tongue and Wayne Gretsky was the other. here comes 'meek claire part 2', as i shyly said, "um, excuse me." nope, no dice. game proceeds." EXCUSE ME, 10 please? TEN" again.... full contact sport here friends. i LITERALLY have to shove them over as they look up only to see the floor and move their feet so they can keep making out, i push floor 10, arrive just in time before being at 11, and stop in the hallway..... and laugh.

because these things happen to me. these non-exaggerated stories.
at the most ill fitting, yet perfectly fitting times. strike that, reverse it. but you know what i mean.
the point is, i wouldn't want to be making out against the elevator buttons with Jake, The Bachelor, and so umm, i wanted him to know that in case he stumbles upon my blog whilst postponing another rose cermony.

xo,
cw