This past spring, just two days before i would be getting shoulder surgery, my friends emily and jessie took me to my first vinyasa flow class, encouraging me that it would still be beneficial and fulfilling even though my arm restricted me from quite a bit. That evening my world was opened up to a very different kind of yoga, and i LOVED it. I've learned the culture of bikram i embrace wholeheartedly and that of vinyasa... don't so much overlap. I won't argue why, because for me, i'm looking forward to accepting, with open arms and bengal tiger strength, as we say in bikram... both of them.
This particular class em and jess took me to had an amazing soundtrack during the 90 minutes of practice. I watched emily's strong, limber body to my right master unfamiliar poses while my unreliable and unstable shoulder prevented me from even trying. With such calmness, i didn't care in the least. This practice was about getting from it what i needed in that moment, and in that moment i needed to allow myself to be proud. Proud for going despite my physical restrictions, and proud that the fears and anxieties of finally having this surgery, that were very much real to me, were about to be faced.
As the final postures came to a close, and this ridiculously awesome (in my opinion) Lean On Me Mashup played below, my eyes welled up a little. I stared down at my mat, very aware in that moment that i was taking steps, somewhat unsteady, but nonetheless, certainly forward. And these steps thanks to my friends, but equally thanks to me.
xo,
cw
Sunday, July 31, 2011
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tears.
ReplyDeletei love that mash up. beautiful and yes ridiculously awesome.
i love yoga and usually practice vinyasa flow (at beloved yoga in reston) but just bought a groupon to try bikram. i'm totally nervous about it. nervous might not be the right word actually...but let's just say it is going to take something from deep within me to open up to it, which is ultimately why i am doing it. i anticipate feeling some discomfort when i take my first class, which in my heart i know will lead to growth and getting in touch with some part of myself that i need to be introduced to...but that can sometimes be a little scary at first, no?
anyway i am babbling, but thank you so much for sharing this and please please keep writing :o) xxxooo
3 months later...after facebook stalking, yoga class stalking to have the same teacher...the song mystery is lifted! SO glad you came to that class and that you are bouncing back with a "new" shoulder. i am proud of you for listening to your broken body...sometimes it is easy to block out how loud it is yelling.
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